Mother brings her friends to her daughter's house while she's away and, without asking permission; then gets upset when her daughter tells her she'll do the same: 'She doesn’t want a bunch of people she doesn’t know in her house'

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Oct 24, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

A mother had her daughter's security code for the entrance, and while her daughter was away for her cousin's wedding, she took all her friends into her daughter's house for a gathering without asking her first. The daughter found out through her security cameras and told her mother that she would bring her own friends into her house on a random day. 

What is it with parents and their nearly total lack of boundaries toward their children's private property? 

It's baffling to me that some parents seem to think that they still have the right to enter their children's homes without asking first. It's not like they're teenagers locking themselves in their rooms while still living in mom and dad's house. Even then, the kids should have a right ot their privacy, but even more so when they actually move out. 

The weird thing about growing up in a normal family, with healthy parents, is that you end up comparing yourself to all the crazy family stories you hear everywhere, and end up getting all outraged when you hear how little boundaries exist out there, and how little respect parents tend to have for their own children. 

I know for a fact that my mother would never get into my house while I'm away without telling me, much less would she bring strange people into my place without my knowledge. Unlike my own, this mother didn't have that kind of consideration towards her daughter and her home. 

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  • AITA for texting my mom that Im having book club at her house since she had a party at my house while I was away?

    Last Saturday I was at my cousin's wedding 3 states away and my doorbell camera went off something like 40 times. I was in
    via u/BeneficialHandle1870
  • Cheezburger Image 10672914688
    via A Chosen Soul For Unsplash+

    The house's security camera. 

    Still frame for contextual reference only.

  • line at the bar during the reception when my phone kept buzzing in my purse and I actually thought it was a package at first, I'd ordered a few
    via u/BeneficialHandle1870
  • things before I left. A dozen women I'd never seen before were carrying casserole dishes and folding chairs into my house, and my mom was the one holding the door.
    via u/BeneficialHandle1870
  • I'd given her my door code so she could feed my cat. Her church bunco group meets once a month at somebody's house and I guess it
    via u/BeneficialHandle1870
  • was her turn. Her own kitchen has been torn up since September for a remodel. None of that came up when she offered to feed the cat.
    via u/BeneficialHandle1870

  • Okay, I have one question here: If you already know that your house is not in a state to receive visitors, why would you agree to host an event with a bunch of people you have no room for? Thinking that your daughter's house is available and empty, and taking advantage of the fact that she asked you to feed her cat, is simply terrible manners. She should have asked if it was okay for them to go there beforehand, and if the daughter refused, which she had a right to, then back down and tell her friends that this time it wouldn't be possible for her to host. It's always easy to be generous when it's someone else's belongings that you're offering. 

  • That night I called her from the hotel and she told me "what's ours is yours, you weren't even using it" and that they'd cleaned up after themselves, like that was the part
    via u/BeneficialHandle1870
  • I'd be upset about. My good serving bowls were in the wrong cabinet and somebody's reading glasses were on my counter. My cat was still hiding under the bed when I walked in Sunday.
    via u/BeneficialHandle1870
  • Cheezburger Image 10672914432
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    The cat hiding under the bed. 

    Photo is a representation of scenes.

  • Then on Monday she texted that the girls loved my kitchen and they might do December there too. So I texted back "having book club at your place this Saturday since
    via u/BeneficialHandle1870
  • Cheezburger Image 10672914944
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    A mother and her daughter talking. 

    Not actual story subjects.

  • what's ours is yours!" She called me right away to say that's not the same thing, she doesn't want a bunch of people she doesn't know in her house.
    via u/BeneficialHandle1870

  • Oh, now she doesn't want a lot of strange people in her house? Where was train of thought when it was her the one who trespassed and appropriated her daughters house? The double standard is what irks me the most. It's totally normal not to want strange people taking a tour all over your home, but to do that very same thing to another person is just inconsiderate and very hypocritical.  What's fair for one is fair for all; if someone wants their wishes and property to be respected, they have to begin by respecting other people's wishes and belongings. Not because someone is your child means that you have automatic access to everything they do, think, and own. They are their own person and are entitled to their privacy. 

  • Book club is actually at my friend Dana's this month. My mom doesn't know that yet, and she hasn't said a word about December since I changed the door code on Wednesday.
    via u/BeneficialHandle1870
  • Pealnternational8130 NTA. Your mom is a sneaky hypocrite. She offered to feed your cat and turned your house into her bunco spot, then had the nerve to say she
    via PeaInternational8130
  • doesnt want people she doesnt know in her house. Funny how whats ours is yours only goes one way. Good on you for changing the code.
    via PeaInternational8130
  • Sweet_Baby_Grogu She called me right away to say that's not the same thing, she doesn't want a bunch of people she doesn't know in her house." Neither did I, mom! But you didn't give me a choice. NTA.
    via Sweet_Baby_Grogu
  • bionicallyironic Don't give her the new door code. Or give her a fake one and watch your cameras on bunco day.
    via bionicallyironic
  • Silent_Morning692 Tell her you'll meet her at the bank later. You need a few thousand from her checking. It's all up for sharing, right? NTA
    via Silent_Morning692
  • Own Usual_6200 NTA. But I am petty. I would actually hold book club at her house.
    via Own_Usual_6200
  • GrumpySnarf D in she's bold. I would have called her immediately and kicked her out. No one messes with my cat's comfort.
    via GrumpySnarf

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family drama house mother family daughter Reddit security cameras parents apartment moving out
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